Dear Mr. Sands:
I apologize for not writing sooner, but I want to comment on the sample copy I received of your publication, "Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens." Perhaps it is in the nature of small press publications to let some time elapse before writing. I was very appreciative of the nice production values and the vibrant creativity inside its pages, and especially enjoyed the story "Robo-Trippin'", about the boy who couldn't find a drug-free friend and Norton Semicolon, the android companion his father built for him.
However, I came across something in the Bizarro Books catalog in the back that shocked me and made me very sad--the description of a book--"Baby Jesus Butt-Plug", I believe it was called, dealing with a terrible sacrilege against the Baby Jesus. I had no idea that I would be assaulted by such a revolting (actually pornographic) idea/advertisement in what I was looking forward to as a journal of creativity, and along with the liberal use of f-words scattered throughout as well, I will not be reading or looking into submitting material to your publication. I regret to have to say this, as from the outside it looks like a zany and very attractive journal.
Please, please, even in the freedoms of expression that are the rights of man and of citizens of this country, please know that freedom is not a license to sacrilegiously insult the God who made us--or at the very least, to make light of sexual assault of babies.
I wish you the best of luck and God's blessings in your creative work.
Acolyte in the Church of the Random Chance
The Baby Jesus Butt Plug is a novella written by Carlton Mellick III. It is good. Here is the description in the catalog: "Using clones of the Baby Jesus for anal sex will be the hip sex fetish of the future."