Saturday, August 23, 2008

J.A. Tyler seems like a very serious guy

I cut my finger on a piece of paper yesterday. It did not bleed.

My finger just bled a little on my scroll pad-thing. I'm now wearing an annoying butterfly band aid or whatever it's called because it was the only band-aid that I could find. It's really annoying to write with it.

I just took it off. I'm a hunter and pecker. Maybe I will bleed on the keyboard.

I bunch of people from L.A. were finding my site by typing "lawn gnomes from space" into google. I wondered if someone was going to make a movie.

They are going to make a movie. It was mentioned on a site. Someone will be paid one hundred dollars to play a character named Death who is a goth band girl. They will also feed her. I'm glad this is a low-budget movie, or else I would be annoyed.

I wonder if they swiped the title from the title of my blog. Maybe it's just a zeitgeist thing? Although "in space" is infinitely cooler than "from space." I want to see lawn gnomes in space. I do not want to see lawn gnomes from space. There is not a very large difference between a lawn gnome from Earth and a lawn gnome from space. There is a large difference between a lawn gnome on Earth and a lawn gnome in space. A movie with lawn gnomes in space would belong to the fish out of water genre. The fish out of water genre is the greatest genre that has ever excited, especially when it is about a fish having a seizure on dry land.

I want to see a lawn gnomes floating around in space. This would please me. The producers of this movie should raise more money to rent a blue screen and make my wish come true.

This movie will be about a goth band who drives around the suburbs in a Toyota. They will machine gun every lawn gnome they come across. They will be very cruel because the lawn gnomes will be frozen in place. The lawn gnomes will not be sentient. The goth band will have an unfair advantage.

The lawn gnomes will not be from space. But the goth band will think they are from space. The goth band will think the lawn gnomes from space are trying to invade the Earth. But the lawn gnomes are not trying to invade the Earth. The lawn gnomes are trying to make the lawns of old people look a little more interesting. Old people need their lawns to look a little more interesting. They will be dead soon. Having interesting looking lawns pleases them. They deserve to be pleased before their deaths.

The goth band will be called The Lusty Putrescents.

My source for this information is my brain and Harry Knowles from Ain't It Cool News.

Harry Knowles is a pirate.

I originally thought I would write a novel called Lawn Gnomes in Space. But I did not want to write a novel with lawn gnomes and space. I do not feel comfortable describing movement in space. This is my reason.

So I thought it would make a good name for a blog. Maybe it would have been a good name for a short story collection too.

I wonder if I should keep my titles a closely guarded from the low-budget film industry until the my books are released.

Hey, low-budget film industry people. I will write this movie for $200 and meals. Let's make it happen.


kek-w said...

Lawn pirates...

j. a. tyler said...

delightful. and I mean that in the most serious way.