Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Bad Film

I used to love to watch bad movies. I don't anymore. I have a limited attention span. It used to be less limited. I used to be ok with sitting through the boring parts of a bad movie to get to the awesome parts. There are a lot of boring parts. I used to love the awesome parts. I think the awesome parts are considerably less awesome without having to sit through the boring parts to get to them. I think my favorite awesome part is a scene in Avenging Disco Godfather where the avenging disco godfather gets attacked while his back is turned. He reacts to the attack about ten seconds before it happens. He gives the camera a look of extreme faux-pain about ten seconds before it happens. Rudy Ray Moore is pretty awesome at being a bad actor.

When I was in high school and with driver's license, I would drive all over Long Island to visit video stores to rent bad movies on video. If the video store was really far away, I would make the clerk an offer for a used tape. I paid $30 for Caligula. I paid considerably less for a messload of Herschell Gordon Lewis movies. My friend used to shoplift Russ Meyer movies for me from Tower Records because they sold them for $80 each and he was a kleptomaniac. I'm not really sure if I'd call Russ Meyer movies bad though.

I find most bad Hollywood movies completely unwatchable. The bad movies that I used to enjoy were low budget. I have two friends who love bad Hollywood movies. But one of them joined the Peace Corp and moved to Romania, they would go to the movies a lot and pay good money to see bad Hollywood movies. I used to say something like, "Why are you supporting bad movies? These movies don't deserve your money. And if they keep making money, Hollywood will continue to crank out shit."

I think they said something like, "But we want them to keep making movies like this."

Their favorite director is Uwe Boll.

There is no director more boring than Uwe Boll. There are no awesome parts in Uwe Boll movies.

There is a comic book that's been coming out for a while that I like due to its extreme badness. It is called All Star Batman and Robin. It is written by Frank Miller, who used to be a good writer.

Batman is horribly insane.

I haven't read it for a while, but Frank Miller ruined everything in the last issue that I read. Batman revealed that he was feigning horrible insanity. I forget why. I think it had something to do with Robin becoming a better crime fighter if his mentor was horribly insane. This ruined it for me. I thought Batman was an extension of Frank Miller. I thought Frank Miller was horribly insane. He still might be, but not enough to fill my life with happiness via entertainment.

I like this article about the comic:

Reading All Star Batman and Robin is better than watching the new Batman movie. Batman does not have a stupid voice. He sounds like your imagination.

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