I just came back from eating breakfast with Seth Schultz at a diner called Jake's. I have been going to a lot of diners lately. I think it is because I used to sleep through the government's mandated "We are now serving breakfast" time and am now making up for lost breakfasts. I went to this other place in Hadley last week. I liked the atmosphere. I forgot the name of the place, but it had a sign with the subtitle, "The Home of Polish Music."
Jake's has better food than The Home of Polish Music, but it is not The Home of Polish Music. Therefore, I will return to The Home of Polish Music someday. It is closer to my work and has its own parking lot.
Seth ordered a meal that concerned his belief that bacon is a vegetable. He gave his order to an excessively cute red-headed waitress. After leaving, I asked Seth if he had any tips on making excessively cute red-headed waitresses comfortable enough to agree to go on a date with me. He said that I would need an encyclopedic knowledge of what was on television last night, who won last night's game, and the state of our political climate.
I do not think I am knowledgeable about these things enough to make the excessively cute red-headed waitress agree to go on a date with me. The three people who read this blog should offer their suggestions. I like excessively cute red-heads a lot. The last virgin that broke up with me was an excessively cute red-head, although not a waitress.
After Jake's, Seth and I walked to Paradise Copies and Deals and Steals (which was closed). I told him about an incident at work. I told me that he enjoyed hearing about the incident at work and that I should write a story about it. I told him that I thought the incident at work was a little boring and I didn't want to write a story about it, but I would write a blog instead. And I would dedicate the blog entry to him. This blog entry is dedicated to Seth Schultz. I am writing it now because I am a little tired and I don't really have anything to do until I go to sleep in a couple of hours.
DEDICATED TO SETH SCHULTZ
Last month, I was working an overnight shift. I was looking in the freezer for frozen food to eat. I noticed that the freezer was misty. I saw an open flame at the top of a fluorescent light in the freezer. I smelled smoke. I realized the mist was smoke. I looked at the flame again. It reminded me of a flame on a candle. I tried to blow it out. It would not blow out. It reminded me of the trick candles that some cruel parents would decorate their children's' birthday cakes with. I thought, I feel reassured that nothing else besides the top of the fluorescent light is on fire. I thought maybe it would go out by itself. I walked to the other side of the store. I walked back to the freezer. The top of the fluorescent light still had a flame. I considered putting it out with a fire extinguisher. I walked to the telephone. I woke up my manager. I told her about the flame at the top of the fluorescent light in the freezer. I told her that I would have put it out with a fire extinguisher, but the flame was weird because it was like a candle flame and I was feeling very confused. I also told her that I would have called the fire department instead of calling her, but I was feeling very confused. She told me to call the police department and ask them if the candle-ish flame was serious enough to call the fire department. I called the police department. The told me they were sending someone over to check it out.
The two police officers showed up. They looked at the flame. They seemed uncomfortable with the idea of going inside the freezer. One of them asked for a fire extinguisher. I gave him a fire extinguisher. He tried to extinguish the flame with the fire extinguisher. He opened the freezer door and sprayed foam all over the place. It did not work. The flame would not go out. I felt reassured that I did not try to put the flame out with the fire extinguisher because I would have really freaked out when it did not work.
The police officer with the fire extinguisher said he was going to break the fluorescent light. He put down the fire extinguisher. He removed his nightstick. He opened the freezer door. He brutalized the fluorescent light with his nightstick. The flame went out. The freezer filled up with smoke. The store filled up with smoke.
One of the police officer's called the fire department. I wedged the front door open to release the smoke. The two police officers went outside. I went outside to get away from the smoke. The police officers and I waited for the fire department. One of the police officers said, They will be here soon. We did not say anything else to each other.
The fire engine showed up. A few firefighters exited the fire engine. The police officers said friendly things to the firefighters. They firefighters went inside the store. The police officers followed them. I went inside. I showed the fire fighters the secret passageway that transforms the freezer into a walk-in freezer. The walked into the walk-in freezer. They walked around the walk-in freezer. I walked back to the cashier's desk. I stayed there for a few minutes. I walked back to the freezer. The firefighters were talking to the police officers. I felt a little left out. I felt a little uncomfortable. One of the firefighters asked me if I knew how to turn off the electricity in the freezer. I said that I did not know how to turn off the electricity in the freezer. I woke up my manager to ask her how to turn off the electricity in the freezer. Before I was able to ask, one of the firefighters told me that they had found out how to turn off the electricity in the freezer. I asked my manager if she wanted to talk to the firefighter. She said yes. I gave the firefighter the phone. He told her the board of health would need to take a look at the freezer before we were able to sell frozen food again. He gave me back the phone. I hung it up.
The police officers and firefighters left. It was cold because the door was open. I swept up the dried powered foam that was on the floor next to the freezer. I closed the door. I was no longer cold. I finished my shift.
The next day, my manager suggested I call the fire department if I ever saw a flame again in the workplace since I sell gasoline, am flammable, and may explode.
Now it's a month later and we still aren't selling frozen food. I do not know why. I may have overheard that the Board of Health hasn't showed up yet.
THIS INCIDENT WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY SETH SCHULTZ