Monday, March 24, 2008

I am leaving on a jet blue plane.

I cannot bring a drink on the plane. I also cannot bring a lot of other things. I don't think I could make this list any funnier. Or maybe I am just too lazy right now. Do they really need to tell me that I cannot bring a hand grenade on the plane?

Yes, they do.

I am thankful for this. It cheers me up.

Sharp Objects Prohibited in Carryon Bags 

  • Box Cutters
  • Ice Axes/Ice Picks
  • Knives (any length and type except round-bladed, butter, and plastic cutlery)
  • Meat Cleavers
  • Razor-Type Blades (such as box cutters, utility knives, razor blades not in
    a cartridge, but excluding safety razors)
  • Sabers
  • Scissors - metal with pointed tips and blades longer than four inches
  • Swords

Sporting Goods Prohibited in Carryon Bags

  • Baseball Bats
  • Bows and Arrows
  • Camping Stoves
  • Cricket Bats
  • Golf Clubs
  • Hockey Sticks
  • Ice Skates
  • Lacrosse Sticks
  • Pool Cues
  • Ski Poles
  • Spear Guns

Guns and Firearms Prohibited in Carryon Bags

  • Ammunition
  • BB Guns
  • Compressed Air Guns
  • Firearms
  • Flare Guns
  • Gun Lighters
  • Gun Powder
  • Parts of Guns and Firearms
  • Pellet Guns
  • Realistic Replicas of Firearms
  • Starter Pistols

Tools Prohibited in Carryon Bags

  • Axes and Hatchets
  • Cattle Prods
  • Crowbars
  • Drills (including cordless portable power drills)
  • Hammers
  • Motorized Tools (such as chainsaws and generators, even if they are brand
  • Saws (including cordless portable power saws)
  • Screwdrivers (except those in eyeglass repair kits)
  • Tools (greater than seven inches in length, including but not limited to wrenches,
    pliers and screwdrivers)
  • Wrenches and Pliers

Martial Arts/Self Defense Items Prohibited in Carryon Bags

  • Billy Clubs
  • Black Jacks
  • Brass Knuckles
  • Dog Repellant spray
  • Kubatons
  • Mace/Pepper Spray
  • Martial Arts Weapons
  • Night Sticks
  • Nunchakus
  • Stun Guns/Shocking Devices
  • Throwing Stars

Explosive Materials Prohibited

  • Blasting Caps
  • Dynamite
  • Fireworks
  • Flares (in any form)
  • Hand Grenades
  • Plastic Explosives
  • Realistic Replicas or Explosives

Flammable Items Prohibited

  • Aerosol (except for personal care or toiletries in limited quantities)
  • Fuels
  • Gasoline
  • Gas Torches
  • Lighter Fluid
  • Matches (strike-anywhere matches)
  • MREs (self-heating Meals Ready to Eat)
  • Realistic Replicas of Incendiaries
  • Torch Lighters
  • Turpentine and Paint Thinner

Disabling Chemicals and Other Dangerous Items Prohibited

  • Chlorine for Pools and Spas
  • Compressed Gas Cylinders (including fire extinguishers)
  • Liquid Bleach
  • Paint
  • Spillable Batteries
  • Tear Gas

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