I am leaving on a jet blue plane.

I cannot bring a drink on the plane. I also cannot bring a lot of other things. I don't think I could make this list any funnier. Or maybe I am just too lazy right now. Do they really need to tell me that I cannot bring a hand grenade on the plane?

Yes, they do.

I am thankful for this. It cheers me up.

Sharp Objects Prohibited in Carryon Bags 

Box Cutters
Ice Axes/Ice Picks
Knives (any length and type except round-bladed, butter, and plastic cutlery)
Meat Cleavers
Razor-Type Blades (such as box cutters, utility knives, razor blades not in
a cartridge, but excluding safety razors)
Sabers
Scissors - metal with pointed tips and blades longer than four inches
Swords

Sporting Goods Prohibited in Carryon Bags 

Baseball Bats
Bows and Arrows
Camping Stoves
Cricket Bats
Golf Clubs
Hockey Sticks
Ice Skates
Lacrosse Sticks
Pool Cues
Ski Poles
Spear Guns

Guns and Firearms Prohibited in Carryon Bags 

Ammunition
BB Guns
Compressed Air Guns
Firearms
Flare Guns
Gun Lighters
Gun Powder
Parts of Guns and Firearms
Pellet Guns
Realistic Replicas of Firearms
Starter Pistols

Tools Prohibited in Carryon Bags 

Axes and Hatchets
Cattle Prods
Crowbars
Drills (including cordless portable power drills)
Hammers
Motorized Tools (such as chainsaws and generators, even if they are brand
new)
Saws (including cordless portable power saws)
Screwdrivers (except those in eyeglass repair kits)
Tools (greater than seven inches in length, including but not limited to wrenches,
pliers and screwdrivers)
Wrenches and Pliers

Martial Arts/Self Defense Items Prohibited in Carryon Bags 

Billy Clubs
Black Jacks
Brass Knuckles
Dog Repellant spray
Kubatons
Mace/Pepper Spray
Martial Arts Weapons
Night Sticks
Nunchakus
Stun Guns/Shocking Devices
Throwing Stars

Explosive Materials Prohibited 

Blasting Caps
Dynamite
Fireworks
Flares (in any form)
Hand Grenades
Plastic Explosives
Realistic Replicas or Explosives

Flammable Items Prohibited 

Aerosol (except for personal care or toiletries in limited quantities)
Fuels
Gasoline
Gas Torches
Lighter Fluid
Matches (strike-anywhere matches)
MREs (self-heating Meals Ready to Eat)
Realistic Replicas of Incendiaries
Torch Lighters
Turpentine and Paint Thinner

Disabling Chemicals and Other Dangerous Items Prohibited 

Chlorine for Pools and Spas
Compressed Gas Cylinders (including fire extinguishers)
Liquid Bleach
Paint
Spillable Batteries
Tear Gas