The dictionary has just told me that "everytime" is not a real word. I never knew this. I am surprised. I always thought it was a mistake whenever I read the words "every time" in a book. I am really disappointed. I am sad. I am on the verge of tears. I really like the word, everytime.
I have a friend who works for Merriam-Webster. Of course, I haven't spoken to him in like two years. Maybe I should speak to him. Maybe I should threaten him. Maybe I should hire a private detective to dig up some material that I could use for blackmail. Maybe I should use this as an excuse to open the private detective agency that I wanted to open when I was eight years old.