Monday, September 8, 2008

Interview with Ryan Manning

This is an interview with Ryan Manning of Ryan Manning fame.

Ryan Manning, what is your favorite Super Nintendo game and why?

i don't play video games anymore but i think my favorite super nintendo game was nba jam because i enjoyed it.

I just discovered that jam means "to slam dunk." I'm doing research for this interview.

Here is my next question: Who is Ryan Manning?

research is good.

the asian samuel beckett.

Did you know that Samuel Beckett used to drive Andre the Giant to school before Andre was a giant? That's not the next question. It's a fake question. Writing "Samuel Beckett used to drive Andre the Giant to school before Andre was a giant" seems weird.

I think you probably drove some famous seven foot tall sumo wrestler named Suzuki the giraffe to school before he was a giraffe.

I bought a Samuel Beckett book a few weeks ago. It is a very handsome book and contains his first three novels. I bought it because of the first sentence: "The sun shone, having no alternative, on the nothing new."

That's a very good first sentence.

I can't get into the book though. I can't get into Samuel Beckett, except for Waiting for Godot.

You commented on my blog for the first time on July 16 of this year. It made me feel like I was part of the lit blog community. I responded by typing, "Finally a comment from you! I have been waiting. I have "made" it." I like your comments. I also like it when you break character and write a typical response besides "the asian whatever" or "the next night we ate whale" or "serious literature."

I used to write a comic strip. The creator of the comic strip was a fictional character. I would pretend to be him and promote the strip by going on random people's journals and telling them that their posts are very erotic. I sometimes think about this character when I see your comments.

Here is a hard-hitting question: Why do you write these comments, Ryan Manning?

i have not read any samuel beckett.

i will probably steal your idea about posts being erotic. thank you for sharing.

the comments are a way of promoting tao lin, which is something i do because i enjoy it.

That's what I thought, but how does it promote Tao Lin? It would make sense to me if you were using an account that led back to a blog that had only one entry. And that entry was about Tao Lin. How do people find out about Tao Lin through your comments?

I guess I'm as confused about this as I am about how Tao Lin's Britney Spears stickers are supposed to promote him. Maybe his name was linked to them through media coverage or something.

Two part question: Do you comment on people's blogs who don't already know about Tao Lin? I see your comments a lot on people's blogs who already like his writing.

I know you post on my friend's blog and I don't think he knows who Tao Lin is. Do you comment on a lot of blogs like his?

You should comment on Momus's blog:

You should steal the erotic comment thing.

thanks for the link. i made a comment.

i usually comment on whichever blog i happen to be looking at.

Ok, I will give up on penetrating the mystery of your comments.

What would you do if the state where you live rose up out of the Earth to attacked all the nations of the Earth like Godzilla.

i would probably have sex with someone because that is my solution to everything.

Ryan Manning, the people of Earth owe you their gratitude. Thank you for soothing the savage whatever state you live in my having sex with it. I think I know the culprit because I have a statscounter thing and am sneaky. I think it starts with a "v" and ends with "gina," but only if you misspell it in a funny way.

Do you know how to get thirty lives in Contra? I'm trying to remember. I need to remember. I'm not very good at Contra (yes I am, with thirty lives).

Thank you, Ryan Manning. You have once again saved the world. You have saved the world from the Red Falcon alien menace.

If there was a Ryan Manning wikipedia entry, what would it say? Cite all your references or risk deletion.

ryan manning is a proper noun.

Here is the new Ryan Manning wikipedia entry: I don't think it will last long. It may be deleted before you get a chance to read it. It looks like there was already a Ryan Manning entry a while ago, but it got deleted by some asshole named ToddST1 on account of vandalism.

If the Ryan Manning entry doesn't get deleted, you should add to it.

I like your poetry. You're probably my favorite poet who I have only read on the Internet. What do you sit on when your writing your poetry? Do you drink any beverages while doing it? Do you write it in a specific room? Do you make sure to comb your hair before writing poetry? Do you have an outfit that you wear for poetry writing?

thank you for publishing my wikipedia entry. it was deleted, but maybe someone will eventually write a proper wikipedia entry for me.

i think it would say 'ryan manning is an american poet', but i don't know what else it would say. i have not accomplished anything yet.

thank you for saying that. when i write i usually sit on a dining chair at a desktop computer, in a home office. and i drink bottled water.

Thank you for participating in the Ryan Manning interview, Ryan Manning. Do you have any final words? Perhaps a comment about your sexual prowess?

i need to get laid yesterday.


Gina Ranalli said...

can you please tell ryan manning to stay off my blog? kthxbai.

Bradley Sands said...

Ryan Manning is a force of nature. Nothing can stop a force of nature.

Gina Ranalli said...


Bradley Sands said...

I think asking me to tell Ryan Manning to stay off your blog is the best way to get him to comment on it. Obviously this is your secret desire.

Gina Ranalli said...

You're right. Hitting delete over and over makes me happy in my pants.

Bradley Sands said...

You are not allowed to delete Ryan Manning's comments.

Gina Ranalli said...

If this nonsense continues, the repercussions will be global.

Bradley Sands said...

You should threaten to blow up Ryan Manning's head with your psi abilities.

o. robin said...

i believe in ryan manning

i do not believe in gina ranalli's sense of humor

Gina Ranalli said...

wise decision. my sense of humor is as elusive as elves and unicorns.

Bradley Sands said...

I once thought I saw Gina Ranalli's sense of humor but it was actually a weather balloon.

Gina Ranalli said...

hahaha! Yeah, I get that a lot. Sometimes the planet Venus is also mistaken for my sense of humor.

Bradley Sands said...

There was that press conference last week where the U.S. government claimed that the alleged sighting of Gina Ranalli's sense of humor was actually a result of swamp gas.

Gina Ranalli said...

Don't forget about the time a couple guys wandering around in the wilderness of the Pacific Northwest claimed to have captured my sense of humor on film, but, of course, that turned out to be just another hoax.

Bradley Sands said...

I think they tried to use a very funny looking bear to convince the American public that they'd captured Gina Ranalli's sense of humor on film. The funny looking bear sorta looked like how scientists have speculated Gina Ranalli's sense of humor would appear to the human mind if it actually existed.

ryan manning said...

the arbitrary nature of the universe

Bradley Sands said...

Intern #13