Friday, June 20, 2008

what's the greatest nation in the world?

I slept last night. It was strange. I haven't slept at night since the beginning of the year, besides going to sleep in the early morning during the World Horror Convention.

It was strange to not need to put a shirt over my head in order to fall asleep.

It was strange to wake up in the daylight instead of the darkness.

It was nice. But it was not nice to force myself to stay awake until midnight. I did this so I could prepare my sleep schedule for my writing program next week. My writing program is at a normal time rather than a graveyard shift time.

I'm going to tell you a story. I told it to Seth Schultz a couple of weeks ago and he said, "Good story."

I think this happened to me a month ago.

I originally wrote, "This happened a month ago, I think."

I edited it because a lot of bloggers who are writers write sentences like this. They end their sentences with a comma and "I think." I think that bloggers who are writers have picked up certain things from each other. It is like a bunch of friends who talk the same way because they spend so much time together.

I think that I have picked up on a lot of this, but I'm going to edit it out whenever possible when it requires as little work as rearranging a sentence. Otherwise, I will not bother.

Back to my "good story."

I was at work. A nervous looking guy prepaid for some gasoline. He pumped some gasoline. He stopped pumping gasoline. There was still some money left from what he prepaid. Maybe a dollar and some change. He came back inside. I opened up the register, thinking he wanted his change. He did not want his change.

He wanted me to call the police. He wanted me to call 911.

Someone outside had pissed on him. He wanted me to report this.

I looked outside. I saw a guy in his twenties outside of nervous looking guy's car. He was laughing to himself. He looked drunk. He was getting into the backseat of the nervous looking guy's car.

I called 911. I told the operator that my customer had been urinated on. The operator asked to speak to my customer. I put him on the phone. I listened to one side of the conversation.

I learned that the nervous looking guy knew the person who had pissed on him.

If I had known this information from the start, I wouldn't have called 911. I would have called the main number for the police. I did not think that getting pissed on was an emergency. I do think that it would have been an emergency if my customer didn't know the person who pissed on him since this person had crawled into the back of his car.

The nervous looking guy asked the police to send a car over. He feared for his safety.

The police car showed up. One policeman talked to my customer while the other policeman talked to the guy who had pissed on him.

I listened to the first conversation. I could not hear the second conversation.

My customer knew the guy who pissed on him from work. He was not his friend. He did not really like him. But they ended up in the same bar together earlier in the night. I guess maybe a bunch of people who worked together went out drinking that night.

The guy who pissed on my customer got into a fight with somebody. The police came. My customer talked to the police. He did the guy who would later piss on him a favor. He prevented him from being arrested. He said that he would take responsibility for him and drive him home.

On their way home, my customer was pissed on.

The police officer kept asking my customer if he was shocked by seeing the piss guy's dick. He said something like, "I was shocked at the time. I am not shocked now."

I think this meant that the piss guy could have been arrested for sexual assault or something. Maybe something else.

My customer did not want the piss guy to get arrested for that. He just wanted to get rid of him. He wanted the police to throw him in the drunk tank or something.

Then I found out the car that my customer was driving was not his car. It was the piss guy's car. This made me think that it was even more ridiculous to call 911 instead of the main number for the police.

I thought that if my customer wanted to get rid of the piss guy, he could have just abandoned him and taken a cab.

But maybe he couldn't do that since he took responsibility for him earlier at the bar. Maybe if the piss guy caused any havoc, my customer would be held partially responsible for this.

I just thought of this.

I guess he could have just abandoned the piss guy and his car at my gas station. I'm glad that he didn't though.

The piss guy's ex-girlfriend showed up. She had broken up with him a few days earllier. She talked to the police. She cried a lot. This annoyed me. I was trying to chill on the Internet during all this. I wished she would stop annoying me. I wished she would cry outside rather than in my store.

I think the piss guy got into a fight at the bar with a person who was screwing his ex-girlfriend and was responsible for their breakup. Something like that. I'm not sure. My customer said that he would just get into the same fight again after he took him home, so maybe they were roommates.

The ex-girlfriend wanted to drive the piss guy home so he wouldn't have to get arrested and get thrown in the drunk tank. She was a little too drunk for this. She took a breathalyser test.

Eventually, everyone went away.

It was very nice.

The piss guy went away with the police.

His car was either driven by my customer or towed. I don't remember.

The ex-girlfriend either walked home or was driven home by my customer.

I have a strong dislike for humanity.

I do not have a strong dislike for the members of humanity who I like, for the members of humanity who do not piss me off.

I am very fond of a few members of humanity.

1 comment:

Gina Ranalli said...

That IS a great story! I also have a strong dislike for most of humanity, but I think you already knew that about me.