Blake Butler: Write a story that begins with the sentence, "Hitler tells me that I look beautiful."
Eric Blair: Write a story that isn't about yourself (must be awesome!).
Gina Ranalli: Write a story about a miniature golf competition.
Jason Jordan: Write a story about a ghost parade.
Josh Maday: Write a story about a very young precocious protagonist who is a writer. It must use the words "precocious," "cacophony," "denizens," and "etc."
kek-w: Write a story about a time-traveling elephant.
Mike Young: Write a poem about a monster truck driver who marries his monster truck and attempts to sue Russell Edson for copyright infringing his life.
Micah Hacim: Write a story about how you're a jerk from the point of view of the bodyguard who used to beat you up during Rory Gilmore's years at Chilton Academy.
Ryan Call: Write a story about MFA candidates using thermonuclear weapons to compete for teaching assistanceships.
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15 comments:
question: when are these due?
ha yes, i am going to put my deep knee boots on
Ryan: Heh, whenever you want. Or if it would be helpful to you: one week or two weeks or one month or whenever.
Blake: Deep knee boots!
this is going to be fun and probably turn out a little childish.
see, all you have to do to get a load of comments is drop some names.
seriously, this is a good post. i enjoyed reading it.
i'll send the story over when it's born.
I didn't think anyone would do it. I was just fucking around.
But yes, cool.
I actually like using the word "cacophony" in every fifty thousand words or so of fiction that I write. It's a good word.
I use "denizens" too sometimes, but that's to describe some citizens on of sort of otherworldly land. There's an alien-like quality to the sound of the word.
I don't write "serious fiction" though.
Definitely agree with you regarding your other pet peeves. I like protagonists who are writers sometimes, but that's because I'm a sucker for those kinds of things. But I think it's lazy writing protagonists like that and I'm pretty sure that readers who aren't writers too won't dig it.
I finished the first draft on a story last week. My original idea was to have a writer protagonist. But I thought that was lame, so I changed him to a greeting card designer.
And I HATE A very young "precocious" narrator. That's literary fiction at its laziest. Like I wrote in this thing-- http://www.dharlanwilson.com/dreampeople/issue27/sands.html -- "-every story must be written from the point of view of an eight-year-old who thinks and speaks as if they're fifty-two."
Ask and ye shall receive.
Well, maybe. :p
I'm the only person asked to write a poem. "What does it all mean," he said.
You are special, Mike Young.
Micah Hacim: Write a story about how you're a jerk from the point of view of the bodyguard who used to beat you up during Rory Gilmore's years at Chilton Academy:
My girlfriend is pregnant, but the bitch says I better stay the hell away from her and the baby. She also says if it's a boy she will name it. if it's a girl she won't even bother with potty training.
I kicked the shit out of the guy she's seeing now. A smart mouth zinester who goes by the name Andrew Brown.
I punched his teeth out, I punched him in the chest, but when I kneed him in the crotch he didn't double over in pain like I expected. That got me thinking.
I haven't been a thinking man since I was expelled from Chilton Academy. I was a straight 'A' student, handsome as shit, and the school newspaper's ace photographer.
One day, after fencing practice, I noticed the school's weirdo, Hacim Mortsmlam, looking up Rory Gilmore's skirt from beneath the bleachers. Later, I elbow-dropped his face in the locker room.
I refused to reveal why I'd done it, and the administration expelled me.
Father got me work at one of Nightclubs he owned out in Salt Lake Shitty as punishment. But I was well suited to the work and found I liked cracking drunkard's skulls on the weekends. It was a lot like the movie Roadhouse. So I decided to become a bouncer.
Years later, I slept with one of the barmaids without a condom and that barmaid was my baby's momma that I mentioned earlier.
I just googled the zinester Andrew Brown, and it turns out he was once a she! Andrew Brown was once Angela Brown! No wonder my nut shot had no effect.
Next time I see that transgendered mother fucker I'm gonna elbow-drop it in the face. Until then, I'll catch up on Tivo.
The end.
Writen by me (not Tony)
You get a D.
Thanks for the leniency.
"Write a story about a time-traveling elephant" - lol!
Only just seen this, teach...sorry...("Late again! It's detention for you, sonny!")
I'm on it.
I fail miserably. Will you give me a D-, though?
If you paypal me five thousand dollars.
Done!
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