Tuesday, July 15, 2008

I go to bakeries all day long. There's a lack of sweetness in my life

I've felt all emo-y recently. I'm beginning to think of my life realistically. Beginning to think that a lot of the things that I had predicted for my future probably won't happen.

I'm obsessed with a song by the Modern Lovers: Hospital



This is a much more depressing than the studio version. And it's even more depressing because the stage is in the distance and so very small. And then the song cuts off.

Before I found this, I found a skydiving video that was accompanied by the studio version of the song. It was a really odd juxtaposition.

"When you get out of the hospital, let me back into your life" would be a good opening for a short story.

I'm happy for Jonathan Richman for writing happy songs after the first Modern Lovers album, but I do not like these songs.

I feel like I'm becoming very random blog-wise. I want to write a couple of essays. One on serial fiction (mostly TV shows) and the other on bad film, but I lack the motivation. I don't think I have the attention span right now to devote many words to the same subject.

I think someone should start up a web journal called something like the Web Journal Review and it should write mini reviews of the stories that the staff thinks are the best recent stories on the web. I probably wouldn't read it, because I don't like reading stories online, but I think a lot of people would. If the journal's staff had good taste. This would be useful since there are so many stories on the Internet. Or maybe someone already does something like this?

I just started taking two hundred times the daily required value of vitamin B-12. It says 20,000% on the label and looks really crazy. It's supposed to eventually make me more calm and give me more energy. It's always nice when those two things go together. Somebody on the Bizarro Central forum recommended it. He said he didn't notice the difference until a month after he started taking it. I haven't noticed the difference yet and it has been about three or four days.

I'm thinking about working for The Prince of Candy's mother. She works in a halfway house for the mentally ill. I am considering doing the overnight shift.

The pedophile that was supposed to have taken Augustin Burroughs' virginity a long time ago worked for The Prince of Candy's mother. She did not like him., but was not able to fire him until he got arrested for having kiddie porn or something. The Prince of Candy told me about him before I read the book, but he didn't tell me it was the same guy until a few days ago. His friends used to go over to the guy's house to star in jerk off videos in exchange for drugs. The Prince of Candy denies doing this.

I just finished the fifth book in Stephen King's Dark Tower series. I still like it. I'm going to remember this summer as the summer that I spent reading the Dark Tower series. I like remembering summers like this. Summer 2001 was spent reading David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest. Summer 2002 was spent reading Terry Pratchett's Diskworld series during the downtime at my mail room job at Nikon. I can't remember any other summers like this. The November that I participated in NaNoWriMo was also spent listening to the audio versions of the Series of Unfortunate Events books. Tim Curry did most of the reading (who was awesome), while Lemony Snicket/Daniel Handler read a few (he was not awesome).

I wish I had two grand to blow. I would take a class in Transcendental Meditation. I would gladly throw the cost on my credit card if it was guaranteed to do what David Lynch claims it does, but I don't know if I believe David Lynch. He might be crazy. He makes statements about how there will be no crime in Scotland if 500 Scotsman learned Transcendental Mediation. I am skeptical. I think maybe there's a chance that there would be no crime in Scotland if 75% of the population learned Trancendental Mediation.

I wish Transcendental Meditation had a money back guarantee. I would definitely pay two grand if it had a money back guarantee.

David Lynch says that you cannot learn it from a book, because everybody is taught it differently based on their personality, I guess. Books cannot teach everybody different things based on their personality, unless it is a Choose Your Own Personality book maybe.

David Lynch makes Transcendental Meditation sound awesome. It is supposed to eliminate stress, get its practitioner in touch with their imagination, and eliminate distraction. All of these things would be useful to me, especially the eliminating stress thing because I don't like to wear rubbery things in my mouth when I sleep and wake up occasionally with horrible head pain. The other stuff would just be a huge bonus.

David Lynch has a foundation where he gives away grants for high school and college students to learn Transcendental Meditation. This is nice of him, but I am not a high school or college student. I wish I could write an essay that started with the words, "Listen, David Lynch. This is why I deserve a grant more than most people on the planet," and he would give me a grant.

The beardy guy who started the Transcendental Meditation movement died this year. He was old, but not that old. Transcendental Meditation is supposed to slow down the aging process.

Practitioners of Transcendental Meditation used to claim that they could levitate. This is the thing that makes me the most skeptical.

My nights off are really lonely. I wish the sun was out during my nights off and not out during my work nights. This would probably result in Armageddon, but I am ok with this if you are.

4 comments:

Tony and Me Watch TV said...

I wanted to read the Discworld books, but my school's library only has book #36. I don't like to start at the end.

Also, I'm surprised you made it past all that Dark Tower vampire shit. Does it ever get good again?

Bradley Sands said...

I didn't mind the vampires, but two hundred page backstories for secondary characters are annoying.

What did annoy me was Roland and his group finding out who/what The Wolves were around the middle of the book and the reader not finding out until near the end. That's stupid. And the revelation wasn't even worth the cop out.

SPOILER ALERT!

Killer robots are as cool as shit, but they make a dumb fucking revelation. At least they looked like Doctor Doom and shot that hockey puck-esque weapon from the Harry Potter books.

And when did it stop being good?

ryan call said...

tj forrester is doing somethign like webjournal review


go google fivestarliterarystories blogspot

is taht what you were thinking of?

Bradley Sands said...

I was thinking of something less detailed. Like a TV Guide for online lit journal stories.

I've never been big into reading reviews, unless it's a review of something that I've done. I guess I like reading a variety of Amazon and Goodreads reviews though. Just not a long one from the same person. I like getting a bunch of short opinions.