Sunday, July 27, 2008

kill me, i am not a vampire

I'm changing back to day shifts for the time being. It will suck, but my days off will be very nice. I hated my nights off. I never had any reason to leave my room.

There is nothing more boring than drinking by myself. I will never become an alcoholic.

I have not been productive this month with my writing. I have been lame and pathetic. I have only written one story this month and it is not so long, but too long to be read on the internet. At least I got a lot of reading done.

My broken laptop is probably the main reason for my lack of productivity. I stopped bringing it to work (which is probably a good thing) since it's in the possession of some computer repair people. I'm going through bureaucratic bullshit with them, so whether or not the repair is covered by my service plan is questionable and I will not find out until the end of the month.

I need to learn how to feel comfortable writing in free hand, but I don't want to write the rest of my novella in free hand because I'm afraid the protagonist's voice will end up being inconsistent with what I have already written.

Hopefully I will start working on the novella again around the beginning of next month.

At least I have gotten a lot of reading done this month. And worked on the edit for the next issue of my journal, even though it's not 100% filled yet.

I should be working afternoon shifts, but I'm going to try to wake up early in the morning every day because I will not feel like working on my novella after work. It will take discipline to go to sleep soon after I get home from work. I will feel the need to "wind down." I will probably allow myself an hour to chill before bedtime. It takes me around three hours to wake up completely though, although it will hopefully be less with the assistance of yerba mate tea, which contains caffeine that does not seem to cause me TMJ head pain. It still pretty weak though.

I love being awake in the morning though. I didn't know this until I started doing overnights and sleeping in the afternoon and early evenings. I never knew what I was missing way back when I was sleeping through the mornings. I guess it's like how I never thought meat tasted good until I stopped being a vegetarian.

I'm not working today. I will probably write one of those autobiographical entries in "I Do Not Feel Like Myself Today" in order to not feel so badly about my low productivity. And take a walk to town. It doesn't look so nice outside, but it will be nice to be there in the afternoon since I'm usually asleep.

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