Saturday, April 11, 2009

Mall Security

Oh man. This is awesome:

"Bi-polar mall security guard Ronnie Barnhardt is called into action to stop a flasher from turning shopper's paradise into his personal peep show. But when Barnhardt can't bring the culprit to justice, a surly police detective, is recruited to close the case."

Have an idea for a movie? Write a treatment. Release it into the netherworld. Hollywood will do the rest.

Well, just the bi-polar mall security guard thing. I based my treatment on a story that I wrote two summers ago. Used it as a writing sample for my MFA applications. Where the fuck did I send it? (Checking my tracker on Duotrope). I think the guy who wrote the screenplay either considers applicants for an MFA program or edits for Fence or edits for McSweeney's (who haven't responded yet) or edits for Columbia: A Journal of the Arts or is Mike Young.

Well, at least this movie looks good. Unlike that Paul Blart shit. I want to see this one. I will imagine that my movie magically appeared.

Here's a list of my top ten favorite novellas:

And other lists by all of these people courtesy of John Madera:

Leni Zumas
John Dermot Woods
Kevin Wilson
William Walsh
Justin Taylor
Joe Stracci
Matthew Simmons
David Shields
Peter Selgin
Christine Schutt
Bradley Sands
Tim Russell
Adam Robinson
Cooper Renner
Kathryn Regina
Ben Pester
Kimberly King Parsons
Ben Myers
Clayton Moore
Carole Maso
Michael Martone
Micheline Aharonian Marcom
John Madera
Lorette C. Luzajic
Gary Lutz
Sean Lovelace
Reb Livingston
Catherine Lacey
Lee Klein
Paul Kincaid
Michael Kimball
Sean Kilpatrick
Michael Joyce
Shane Jones
Jac Jemc
Jamie Iredell
Lily Hoang
Christopher Higgs
John Haskell
Jim Hanas
Amelia Gray
Brandon Scott Gorrell
Renee Gladman
Molly Gaudry
Timothy Gager
Brian Evenson
Scott Esposito
Nicolle Elizabeth
Jackie Corley
Jimmy Chen
Tobias Carroll
Blake Butler
K. Kvashay-Boyle
Daniel Borzutzky
Crispin Best
Matt Bell
Ken Baumann
Nick Antosca
J.R. Angelella
Steve Almond


Anonymous said...

you should sue

Mark said...

saw it last night.
worth the $12 i paid

Brandi Wells said...

saw that movie today. liked it except i had to hide my face during all the embarrassing scenes (i always do that) and i was sad to see so much fat man penis.

Matt DeBenedictis said...

I need to set some time aside, keep that time enclosed and untouched, so I can read all of the novella lists.

Bradley Sands said...

I skimmed. I learned that many people like the "I will prefer not to" book written by that whale guy. Haven't read it, but saw the Crispin Glover movie.

John Madera said...


Thanks for posting about the novella thing.


Jess Gulbranson said...

I remember you talking about your own story, and how "Paul Blart" discouraged you from doing anything serious with the treatment.

As soon as I saw ads for this new crappy movie, I immediately thought... shit, did Bradley get his movie made without telling anyone? Apparently you got your movie made without even knowing it yourself.