Wednesday, January 21, 2009

i like Chocolate Milk a lot.

I am back in The States.

Here are the 100 most frequently used words in my novel:

again always another asked body boner brother came chapter class come day door down during end even ever eyes face feel felt find first gave get go going goldstein good got grassy grover hand having head high inside know last left let life little long look looked looking man mind mother mouth mrs myself name need new next now nurse oh old own page people place please put really right room sally school seat see since something still students take tell thea thing think thought time tongue took towards tried turn two unnamable upon use wall want without work world

If my novel was the television show, 24, this would be the most frequently used word:

dammit!

I have spent the last few weeks watching every episode of 24 (because my life is bullshit). Here are my reviews of each season so you don't have to ever watch any episodes of 24. You can thank me in the comments:

Season 1: Awesome!

Season 2: Sucks!

Season 3: Sucks!

Season 4: Awesome!

Season 5: Awesome!

Season 6: Sucks!

The made for TV movie, 24: Retribution: Sucks!

Season 6 (first five episodes): Pretty ok! But there are a couple of really lame things:

A) Every episode is an argument for the awesomeness of torture. The show is now really defensive about this.

B) A major character who had an on screen death a few seasons back has suddenly come back to life. What is this? DC Comics?

Batman is dead btw. Grant Morrison teamed up with Darkseid to kill him. If I were a betting man, a would put my money on him being resurrected shortly before the release of his next movie.

Chocolate Milk

I love chocolate milk. I did not love chocolate milk until recently. I disliked chocolate milk up until recently. I loved hot chocolate. Cold chocolate grossed me out. Cold coffee grossed me out. I drank chocolate milk recently. I loved it. I think this bullshit milkshake that I drank a few times was a gateway drug to chocolate milk. I now realize that the bullshit milkshake tasted very similar to chocolate milk. It was a little colder due to advanced cooling technologies. These technologies were very impressive because the bullshit milkshake was stocked near the chocolate milk in the cooler. It also tasted slightly richer. I think I prefer chocolate milk to bullshit milkshakes. I love chocolate milk.

Bradley, age 30

5 comments:

Brandi Wells said...

I only like chocolate milk if I make it myself. Then I am able to control the chocolate to milk ratio.

Jess Gulbranson said...

You know what they say about chocolate milk...

Bradley Sands said...

Don't assume "I" know what "they" say.

More comment gibberish from Jess Gulbranson...

Matt DeBenedictis said...

If you chop a bunny's head off when it's not looking chocolate milk comes out. File this under shit "they" don't want you to know.

Bradley Sands said...

Matt: You and me...let's jump Jess Gulbranson after school!