reese's feces

I like to drive behind raisin plows while shouting the words to Danzig's "Mother" and watching the plow hit mailboxes with a wave of raisins. This is even better when the raisin plow hits a cemetery mailbox with a wave of raisins. I like to watch cemetery mailboxes sway back and forth after getting hit by a wave of raisins. Cemetery mailboxes are my favorite mailboxes ever. I will put a raisin in an envelope and mail it to a dead person.

Go read Carlton Mellick III's story, "Candy-Coated." It is in the new issue of Vice. It is online. It is a very good story. I saw Carlton Mellik III read this story. He is a better reader than you are.

Madelyn Burgess, who is supposed to be "the girl who tells you which register to use at Whole Foods over the PA," also reads it online. I don't think I've ever heard her voice before. I usually go to Whole Foods in the morning. It is not busy in the morning. I like the way Madelyn Burgess says, "laydaaays." Madelyn Burgess's voice is more calming than Carlton Mellick III's. Carlton Mellick III also has a story in the upcoming Bradley Sands is a Dick anthology, as do many others who are not named Ryan Call.