Thursday, May 19, 2011

The Series Finale of Smallville Reveals the TRUTH about Judgment Day, AKA October 21st

I have watched every episode of Smallville. I consider it a guilty pleasure due to its inconsistency.  Some of its episodes are great while others are awful. For example, the recent series finale was a disappointment, although watching it has made me an enlightened being.

In the episode, there is an extremely revealing scene where Darkseid’s cronies (Granny Goodness, Desaad, and Glorius Godfrey) are chilling in a room that looks it's inside a church. In case Darkseid is unfamiliar to you, he is an evil god, one of the most powerful characters in the DC universe, and he is probably the greatest villain in comic book history (although Superman killed him off recently in the comics with the help of Batman and comic writer, Grant Morrison).

Darkseid is supposed to be the primary antagonist of the last season of Smallville even though he only gets about thirty seconds of screen time in his true form along with a few minutes of screen time when he’s possessing the body of Lex Luthor’s dad, who is from the alternate dimension where he raised Clark rather than being Lex's “real” dad (because Lex killed his dad, I assume because the actor wanted to quit the show, and the show’s creators pulled this alternate reality crap because the dad is played by John Glover and John Glover kicks ass and they probably wanted him back for the last season but couldn't think of a good reason to resurrect his dead body). So anyway, Lex Luthor’s dad is sporting a hobo beard. Also, he sounds like the vocalist of an industrial band, which is the only indication that he’s possessed by Darkseid besides his hammy dialogue.

So getting back to Judgment Day, here is a transcription of Darkseid’s cronies’ dialogue:

Desaad: The day of judgment is upon us.

Granny Goodness: We’ve saved a million souls from the coming apocalypse to serve the Dark Lord.

When she says “the coming apocalypse,” she’s referring to how Darkseid’s planet is about to smash into the Earth and kill everyone who hasn’t been “saved.” By the way, his planet is called Apokolips.

Then Green Arrow shows up. And he uses a silly deep voice to disguise himself like Christian Bale in the Batman prequels, although I’m not entirely sure why because the cronies already know his identity. And Granny Goodness is surprised that Green Lantern’s omega symbol, which one of the cronies etched onto his head, is gone (Clark is responsible for this). The millions of souls that Granny Goodness referred to earlier are humans that have this symbol on their heads. And the symbols have turned them evil and shit.

In the comics, Darkseid never gave the omega symbol to a million people. Instead, during a big, confusing comic book event called Final Crisis, he sends something called the Anti-Life Equation to every email address on Earth, causing almost everyone to fall under his control and be totally evil and shit. Up until that moment, he had a major boner for the Anti-Life Equation and spent his life trying to track it down. I have no idea how he succeeded in obtaining it.

So basically, the omega symbol is Smallville’s version of the Anti-Life Equation. And Desaad tells Green Arrow that he was “sooo close to experiencing the rapture” and he mumbles something about how those with the Omega mark would serve his Lord “while all others will perish.” Then he asks, “Do you really think you possess the power to vanquish our Lord from the souls of those he saved?”

I’m not going to tell you what happens next in case you want to watch the episode and find out for yourself, but essentially the writers of the show are associating Darkseid and “his” end of the world with Jesus and Judgment Day. And this would have been extremely anti-Christian if it were coming out of the mouths of the good guys rather than the bad guys.

DON’T READ THIS IF YOU WANT OCTOBER 21ST TO BE A SURPRISE: Clark defeats Darkseid in a really anticlimactic way and removes the omega mark from the million people who have it (along with saving the world) in a really anticlimactic way.

In summary, Smallville’s writers are great prophets (even if they may not always be great writers). They have predicted what will occur on October 21ST. God--who is as evil as fuck, has a hobo’s beard, and is in an industrial band--will judge us and sentence us all to death (except for the millions of people who his cronies have saved). But Superman will save the day by defeating him in a really anticlimactic way. And “this should encourage each one of us to go to” Superman “and beseech Him for His great mercy.”

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