Sunday, December 12, 2010

I'm auctioning off the movie rights to Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy

Here is a link to the Ebay listing:

And the item description:

Have you ever optioned a movie? If so, you probably paid tons of money for one story.

One story! Is that all?

Personally, I think you were ripped off.

I am auctioning off the movie rights to my book, Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy, which contains 52 stories.

52 stories! That’s a lot of bang for your buck. It’s enough stories for you to release one movie a week for an entire year. Enough to start a movie empire!

Also, you will have the rights to the title, “Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy.” Who wouldn’t watch a movie called that? The title will appeal to a demographic that includes EVERYONE. Toddlers, teenagers, middle-agers, senior citizens. No one will be able to resist.

Never optioned a book before? Well, that’s ok. Because this is a great choice for your first time.

Do you have no idea how to make a movie? Don’t worry about it! You can learn as you film. Screw up one story and you will have 51 more to choose from, including these potential smash hits:

The Time Traveling Giraffe Is On Fire

Cormac McCarthy

Alligator in Space

Scenes from the Life of a Greeting Card Designer

A Suicidal Amputee Tries to Kill Himself By Rolling Off His Bed, Down the Stairs, Through the Screen Door, and Into Traffic; Some Dominican Kids Poke Him With Sticks Too, and an Eagle and an Eagle Shits on Him

And many, many, many more.

You can’t lose!

So let the bidding begin…

A legally binding contract will be sent to the winning bidder.

Find Sorry I Ruined Your Orgy at For more information, visit and

The bidding ends on Wednesday, December 22 at 8:53 PM EST.