Monday, February 15, 2010

things are happening

Issue Y'aing'ngah of Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens is out and available online as a free download.

It includes stories by Mykle Hansen, Brandi Wells, xTx, Nicole Cushing, Gabe Durham, R.E. Greene, and Jeff Lawhead. Contains book reviews of D. Harlan Wilson's Peckinpah and L.V. Rautenbaumgrabner's As I Was Cutting and Other Nastinesses. Cover art by Kristian Adam.

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My twilight wanderings had led me far. In the plains of Jum I saw pigs that walked as men and muttered wicked chants to an ancient wrathful god, in the city of Ka'esran, I beheld a chorus of wicked children piercing hearts with eldritch secrets meant for no man's ears, I met a lady whose most loving touch brought only pain and was almost deafened by the klaxons of interminable war! But, it was worth it to make it past the gibbering madnesses around me and into the company of the goddess Nish-Fkyua, The-Laugh-That-Mocks-Creation. Her skin was a thousand cats in tight corsets, her eyes two hungry Skramps, and her wide open vagina a Gnufrat of most resplendent hideousness. Her voice caused my fingernails to break off in unison and my eyes to melt into pools of jelly. But, what she told me, the ghastly primal, was worth the price I had paid and the untold millions of miles I had journeyed:

"Beyond the gates of Eth there lies a palace of dark opulence, where a king with no eyes sits upon pillows of manflesh waiting. He waits to lead the most courageous and foolish of men into a place of unspeakable horror and delight. He will take you to a golden door engraved with symbols in old Qothric that tell of the secret location of another door atop a perilous mountain where the Masters from Above Time meet every thousand years to plot the end of being. When you get there, you must...

BUST DOWN THE DOOR AND EAT ALL THE CHICKENS!

Get it here.



I'll be attending AWP in Denver from April 7-10. My story collection, My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said Yes! will be debuting. I will be selling it at the HTMLGIANT table during the book fair (along with copies of It Came from Below the Belt, Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens #9, and The Bizarro Starter Kit (Blue).

I'm also doing two readings:

Mud Luscious Press/Flatmancrooked Puppet-Theatre Reading - on April 9th, 4:00 pm, at the Flatmancrooked table during the bookfair.

and

OW Press/The Velvet Reading at Leela's European Cafe, on Friday, from 6-9: www.outsiderwriters.org/ow-press-the-velvet-reading-april-9th

In other news, Eraserhead Press is offering more free bizarro book PDFs until the end of the month: Andersen Prunty's Zerostrata and Carlton Mellick's The Haunted Vagina (which are two of my personal favorites), Jordan Krall's Piecemeal June, and the first two issues of The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction. I have a piece in the first issue titled, "How to Write a Short Story!" You can also find it online in an old issue of The Dream People, but the "The Magazine" issue also has a lot of other good stuff. Go here to download: www.bizarrocentral.com

2 comments:

Don Broma said...

That 'twilight wanderings' passage sounds heavy with Dungeons and Dragons talk.

Bradley Sands said...

Sounds like you've never read Lovecraft.