Second-runner up and the proud winner of a collection of random objects from my room is...Kate Paone
First-runner up and winner of a few porn magazines that I'll buy from a nearby store is...Karl Fischer. Luckily, he lives near me so we'll go to the store together and both feel extremely embarrassed.
And the winner of the contest and a handwritten copy of the mysterious story, “My Heart Said No, But the Camera Crew Said Yes,” along with a lifetime subscription to all of my forthcoming books is...Crystal Zimmerman.
Congratulations to all the winners!